So I came damn near close to not writing this blog. In fact I have been taking my first extended break from blogging in like, forever.
Today’s topic is about the feeling of apathy. Some people would call it lazy but that’s just apathy with intention. Others would say insouciant but that’s just plain lazy without caring. Lassitude is too dang slow to describe the feeling.
Half-heartedness. That’s it! Apathy is all about heart, really. Or lack thereof. You see when your heart wanders you lose sight of your goal. Without a goal you flounder. Like a flat fish on dry-land flip-flopping for water you gasp for meaning. You need a purpose. A destination maybe. A reason to compel action.
Sometimes you take these for granted. You never notice them. You work to earn a living. You love and create to feel alive. When times are good you function on autopilot and all is right and good with the world.
When crisis erupts, however, you lose your bearing. Like a drunk, you stagger woozily. Disoriented, you sometimes lose sight of your goal. Instead of action, nothing. A profound sense of sadness or frustration or carelessness typically underpins apathy. The result is non-action. Time drags by slower. The world dims. You have urgent desires to eat chocolate or watch re-runs of “I Dream of Genie”.
So what to do?
Turn on all your lights? Ramp up your heat? Or shake it off like a dog waggling off water? Yeah, spray everyone around you. Piss them off. Will yourself into the world and the world will kick you in the shins and it will hurt. But the pain will focus your attention on the big questions: What am I doing? Why am I doing it? The feeling of apathy then becomes a gift of sorts. An opportunity for you to re-evaluate those questions and reinvigorate your response to them.
So have you ever suffered from the feeling of apathy? What brought it on?
What was your response? How did you beat it?
What is Truth North on your life’s compass?