Have you ever been torn by conflicting urges? Frozen in inaction, angsting an impending decision or course of action, Hamleting your precious life away?
So I have. In fact, some would say I gain some perverse pleasure from this purgatorial state of being. I, of course, would disagree.
So to frame today’s story I must give you two key pieces of information about me.
One, I have an almost maniacal urge to eat healthily. Thus, lots of lean meats, whole grains, fruits, veggies, the works. I almost never eat red meat. Hamburgers make me cringe.
Two, I adore a bargain. I have been known to commit unnatural acts to get a good deal. It is like I’m hardwired to pay less than retail. Of course, while some would call me “cheap,” I prefer “thrifty”.
So recently we found ourselves flying down I-40 and hungry. As we pulled into a supercenter to buy gas, we noticed a Wendy’s Hamburary grafted onto its side. And in big bold letters “Double Stack Burgers for 99 cents.”
In an instant I found myself betwixt the Sylla of good diet and the Charybdis of a tasty deal. I became wracked with internal conflict. Should I not be such a prude, loosen up my dietary restrictions and enjoy some juicy cow flesh? I mean in calories per cents you can’t beat the double stack. It practically screams “eat me and get fat”.
Or should I buck up and order a baked potato with broccoli? Maintain my pristine state of being, unpolluted by deliciousness? I mean, I’ve long since given in to the fact that whatever tastes really really good is horrible for my body and thus developed a taste for spiced cardboard.
As I shuffled up to the dumpish cashier lady wearing a grease-spattered blue denim shirt, she let loose a hail of joviality that almost bowled me over.
“What a wonderful day, good sir,” she beamed with pernicious genuineness.
“What can I get for you on this most glorious of days?”
Before I could respond, I thanked god I wasn’t packing heat otherwise I’d have gone postal on her right then and there. The vision of this Wendy’s girl getting cut down in barrage of my dietary grief ran like a Youtubed video in the back of my mind.
I stood motionless for a good thirty seconds while the people behind me grumbled and Grease Momma mockingly smiled at me like she could see straight through to the angst churning in my soul.
“Um, double stack,” I finally bah humbugged.
“Would you like our tasty lettuce and fresh tomato on that as well, good sir?”
“Nah, just the meat, honey. Why spoil it with ridiculous veggies?”
With this she perked up. “I think I can get them to make it a triple stack for you at no extra charge!”
“Grand,” I replied, “Just grand.”
So have you ever been internally conflicted?
How did you resolve your angst?
Do you eat healthy?
Do you crave a bargain?
14 Responses
Your funny.
Isn’t internal conflict the human condition?
I just think of it as growing pains in evolution… lol.
Posted on December 11th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
I’m having internal conflict now… To make a call and change jobs, or stay put where it seems safe in our current economy…?
I try to eat healthy, but, umm, well, I quit smoking a bit over a year ago and, I admit it! I eat crap now!!!!!!!! sigh
Posted on December 11th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
so change jobs if it makes you happier
and sigh (in sympathy)
Posted on December 11th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Those $1 menues at fast food joints are part of the reason why we are raising a generation that will die before their parents. New stat. In the past few years kids are getting cholesteral checks, stomach bands and diabetis in our young is growing. Just today I took my 16 year old in for some fasting blood work. Some of his is hereditary but buying those buck burgers is something I’ve been very guilty of. I could go on with more on this topic you write about but I’ve already taken up all the spa
Posted on December 11th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
ce. Yes i totally agree. Actually i’ve worked hard to encourage my kids to make healthy food choices. Works about half the time.
Posted on December 11th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
I do all the above. I eat healthy, and I try to stay active to counterbalance the times when I don’t. I love bargains….and often find myself buying things I don’t need, just because I got it so cheap. I’m also a splurger, I have no problems buying expensive things. Always on sale though, I never pay full retail for ANYTHING. I used to work in retail, so it’s just one of those things you learn along the way….if you wait long enough, it will eventually go on sale. The only things I pay full price for are the things that NEVER go on sale……like gas.
Posted on December 11th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
and even gas you can get cheaper by driving a bit …
Posted on December 11th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
good stuff. cheers.
Posted on December 12th, 2008 at 2:19 am
yes, i have been conflicted. I am shopping for new cheap laptop netbook when I dont need it.. already have laptop.. havent decided yet but cant stop looking lol
Posted on December 12th, 2008 at 10:10 am
ah yes
the bug has bitten you
and money is burning a hole in your pocket
Posted on December 12th, 2008 at 10:34 am
I am conflicted with regularity, but sports and a bit of fiber goes a long way to relieving my angst. For me, though, there is no conflict between healthy and tasty — that said, I don’t think some red meat now and then is bad for anything but the planet (so I try to limit my intake and buy organic). And I’m not much into shopping, bargain or no bargain, for anything but food, and when it comes to food, I prefer good to cheap. That said, if some sustainably-farmed caviar is available for 40% off, that’s the kind of bargain I can crave!
Posted on December 12th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
i’m not much of a shopper either …. though when i need something i go to great lengths to get it cheap.
i can imagine farmers milking fish for your caviar ….
Posted on December 12th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Hmmmm….Just don’t let it happen again! ;o)))
Posted on December 13th, 2008 at 2:06 am
no friggin way
Posted on December 13th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
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