So in the foggy past my son and I were playing golf at the local 9-hole short course and happened to get paired with a Frenchman and his 14 year old son. On the seventh hole young Benjie fired his approach shot into the butt of one of the many geese who were rutting and strutting on the course, it being the mating season and all.
Gerrard, his loquacious father, said in a toasty French accent, “Nice birdie!”
I winced (while chuckling inside). Jokes that bad should come with a money back guarantee. I missed my subsequent real birdie putt. Damn lame joke!
But this is all digression.
My story begins a few minutes later on the tee box of the 9th hole as I sized up my many options. A sneaky little hole.
Meandering stream to the left where vagabonds straight out of a Mad Max movie hung out on the banks and prayed for you pull your tee shot so they could collect your ball out of the creek and sell it to the Pro shop (for you to buy it back the following week).
Fairway for Hole One on your right where you risk bodily harm and a lawsuit if you slam your tee shot into any one of the approaching unsuspecting golfers. No, the only play on this hole was right up the middle. The arguably weakest point of my game!
Thus lost in my Tiger Woods moment, without warning, I felt something hit me on my back, just under my right shoulder, hard. I spun around half expecting to see that I had been hit by a ball but to just catch out of the corner of my eye three geese flying overhead.
My back/shoulder suddenly felt … warm. So I pulled my shirt around and lo and behold I had been pelted with goose shit! Dive bombed! Seriously, I didn’t know geese could do that. Be that resourceful. Be that vengeful (as I think his or her load was meant for Benjie’s head and I, an innocent bystander, was caught in the goose shit crossfire). Most of it, greenish in color, still clung to my yellow shirt.
My son laughed up a storm as he helped me scrape it off. Needless to say that night at the dinner table my son reported the entire incident to the rest of the family who laughed uproariously.
I was still pissed I missed that birdie putt.
Have you ever been shit upon – either literally (like me in this case) or figuratively?
I thought this an appropriate NEW YEARS POST. Here’s too everyone’s health and happiness in the upcoming year!!!
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So in the foggy past my son and I were playing golf at the local 9-hole short course and happened to get paired with a Frenchman and his 14 year old son. On the seventh hole young Benjie fired his approach shot into the butt of one of the many geese who were rutting [...]
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Immaculately conceive with some ganja
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Tell me how many dead brain cells there are
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Or who invited the Devil’s last hurrah,
Teach me to hear mermaids kvetching
,
Or to keep away envy’s retching,
And find what wind serves to cloud an honest mind
,
If thou be’est born to kinky sights,
Things risible to see
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Be ridden a [...]
So in the foggy past my son and I were playing golf at the local 9-hole short course and happened to get paired with a Frenchman and his 14 year old son. On the seventh hole young Benjie fired his approach shot into the butt of one of the many geese who were rutting [...]
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So now that the American people have voted an African American into office, it is timely to ask an equally compelling and in some ways more important question, “Are we ready for [...]
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Go and catch a falling rock star,
Immaculately conceive with some ganja
,
Tell me how many dead brain cells there are
,
Or who invited the Devil’s last hurrah,
Teach me to hear mermaids kvetching
,
Or to keep away envy’s retching,
And find what wind serves to cloud an honest mind
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If thou be’est born to kinky sights,
Things risible to see
,
Be ridden a [...]
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